The moment you break or snap; at that solid moment you know exactly what you are doing, you know exactly what you are feeling, and you know there will be some sort of repercussion. BUT, at that point your body and mind take control over you. You cannot stop whatever action it is that you are doing.
The worst part is that you never snap, or break at the people you need to break or snap at either. It is the latest person that said something, that yesterday, you would have laughed about.
Your blood pressure rises, and you are full of rage and anger. You want to cry, but cannot. You want to scream, but cannot. And when you are a passive-aggressive person it is even harder, because people ask you why you did what you did and it
It takes you 20 minutes to calm your breathing, get your mind in the right place, to regain strength, so that like-an-ass you can apologize for reasons unknown to you. You don't know why you did it, and you don't know why you're sorry, because for a brief moment you weren't yourself by any means.
Being in the worst physical pain of your life, and not knowing what that truly means.
A guy who told me so many things, and promised so many things, didn't have ANYTHING to say to me when given the chance.
Feeling as though no one is on your side, ever.
Not knowing your future.
Not feeling like yourself.
Yet, being a strong woman, attempting to handle it all yourself.
Oh yeah, and the lack/loss of endorphin's which were your only best friend for the past 3 years. The only thing that made me happy, without some form of man made chemical doing it for me.
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