Sunday, August 28, 2011

Trauma

I'm a trauma target. Since November 14th, 2007 I have had a lot of trauma in my life.

Feb 2009 Car Accident
June 2010 Laid Off
May 2011 Car Accident
August 2011 Car Accident

These car accidents are not helping me get over the initial car accident in 2007 - luckily none of them have been my fault but I still can't help but to think I'm a target. I found a quote today that makes me worry and sends my anxiety soaring:


"Sometimes a breakdown can be the beginning of a kind of breakthrough, a way of living in advance through a trauma that prepares you for a future of radical transformation."

I'm ready for a break ... whenever I'm supposed to get it. Of course, life is amazing. I won't deny that but finally it's all crashing down on me and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do with it. 

Monday, August 22, 2011

Some People

On Sunday I was with my clients at the Church History Museum. This guy is standing outside this box in a parking lot saying we need to pay him $6.00 - well, I ignored him and continued driving. He didn't approach me at first but soon, like 5 minutes later, he comes over and acts like he's going to call whomever it is to come and impound my car. He comes over and says, "You have to pay me or else I'll call someone to remove your car." I said, "Go for it, I'm not paying you!" (I really thought all parking was free in SLC, on Sunday's. Maybe I need to learn how to read signs. I won't deny that I needed to pay, but I wasn't about to pay him personally.) So, here I am telling him get in the box and I'd pay him. He holds up the key and I repeated, "Get it the box and I'll pay you!" He's says, "The key is broken!" I said, "You're a thief! Let me talk to your boss!" He said, "It's Sunday everyone is off work." He points to this shed (over a fence) and says, "If you have any problems take it up with the office." I said, "No, I'll take it up with the police." So I call 9-1-1 and all of a sudden he jumps on his mountain bike and yells, "I'm going to get the LDS police." I said, "Yeah, I'm sure. I'll wait right here for the. Hurry! Go and get them so that I can straighten this out." Of course, he didn't bring them. He was nothing but a liar and a thief! Who knows how much money he stole from not only innocent people, but the church. I'm still livid about this and probably will be for a long time. I can't wait till his judgement day!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Thanks.

I'm an under-dog and perfectly fine with admitting it. 

Not many people think I can lose all the weight I wish to lose and I think that's what keeps me going. I want to prove them wrong. Anyways, I like routing for the under-dog. My UTES have been an under-dog in many occasions where they have won it! Especially the Fiesta Bowl & Sugar Bowl. I love watching the person with more desire win it, rather than the one who has the most money or better looks. Just know that no matter what I will prove you wrong.

P.S. I can't even fit in my fat jeans anymore, they're like work out pants now. If I could do the splits, I know I could do it in the jeans I wore today because they weren't even jeans. They were stretch pants without elastic. They fell off me when I got undressed, felt amazing. So to everyone that doesn't believe in me, thanks. 

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Bigger & Better Things!

I'm off to bigger and better things. I got the class I failed, behind me. I have 19 days until school starts back up and I can solely concentrate on Social Work, WOO! A lot has gone on and this post is directed toward all of it.


1. I have a million clients I volunteer with and I LOVE it! It reminds me how much I love people, especially the elderly. I have 24 clients now and I visit 12 a week. I'm kinda busy with it but I do adore it.


2. I have my little and we've gone on two outings together. She's super cute and I fall more and more in love with her each passing second that I'm with her. The first activity was getting frozen yogurt and feeding the ducks. TWO of my favorite things ever! She's just like me with how she wanted her ice cream to squealing when she saw the baby ducks. Reminds me that one day I may want children. Especially to have a mini-me. :) 


3. I am going to be on that show "I Survived ... Beyond & Back". Tomorrow I have a SKYPE interview with Becky Beamer which is the lady that liked my story and passed it onto the BIOGRAPHY channel. Well, they loved it and I'm going to be on it! Hopefully, so long as the interview tomorrow goes well.


4. I start my senior year at the U on the 22nd. What? My senior year? I know, I can't believe it either! I'm quite stoked about it. I'll be 21 with my bachelors. I'm going to work my ass off so I can get into the Master's Accelerated Program! Keep your fingers crossed!


5. I've been doing two-a-days at the gym the past couple weeks and I'm loving the results and I'm always so sore. LOVE IT! I hope this really kicks my butt into gear. I'm also doing a detox and I LOVE IT as well! :) 


I've missed this happiness ... it's been really lacking lately. I don't know who to thank. 


No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't. - Marilyn Monroe - uhm f'real. I agree with you, lady! 

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Much Better!

Today my total demeanor has changed. Thanks to endorphin's! LOVE THEM! A man I'm currently talking to I think has a little to do with it. He just accepts me for what I am ... though he has yet to see the extreme side of me, both good and bad. Sorry, I like to sing in the middle of stores and dance in my car. I don't care who's watching as long as I'm having a good time then life is great. Now I think I'm gonna go take a shower and do my shower dance and sing at the top of my lungs. I'm stoked about it.

xo,
Kas

Monday, August 1, 2011

Feeling Lost: Without a Direction in Sight

A whirlwind has taken up my thoughts. Honestly, I feel crazy. I want to cry, laugh, love, run, be wild, have that melt down that is supposed to happen in your 40's not your 20's. I worked out twice today thinking it would clear my thoughts, it didn't. I hate when you think, Oh! This will do the trick! And it fails miserably. I just want some guidance. Some hope. I've been missing that a lot lately and it's a horrible thing to loose sight of.

Hoping for some positive change, some peace & some love.

xo,
Kas

I Am Addicted - You'd Agree

I like a few things a little too much and I am bound and determined to stop.

FACEBOOK. Don't lie, you are too! I am an opinionated person and I like to post status updates - it's really not that cool, but it makes me feel legit.

CELL PHONE. Everyone is so dependent on these technological devices. I need to get out from under the stupid thing.

BOTTLED WATER. I'm killing the environment and I'm not proud of it ... I think I'm going to get the new BRITA Water Bottle Filter. ( http://www.amazon.com/Filtrete-3M-Water-Station/dp/B00407ZHSO/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1312213691&sr=8-4 )

I don't want to tell you all my down falls so for now those three are enough. :)

peace & love, f'real.