Letting the wrong ones go has been difficult for me. I have let go of so many people that I didn't WANT to let go of, too many times in my life. I have let go of so many people that I wanted to let go of, so that maybe they would come back to me. None have come back, and sometimes it is lonely. Sometimes, it is too lonely. You wonder if you'll find others like allofthewrongones. Though, you try not to think about it all too often, because that just gets you down.
These people, I thought, loved me, for me.
This may have been the case then, but is not the case now.
Trust is broken. Hearts begin to break. Tears are more common than laughter. You begin to grow up, and learn the actual meaning of True Friends, Best Friends, Love, Friendship, Happiness, Youth, and Life.
I could see myself in Texas. I could see myself doing my practicum in Texas. I could see myself starting a family in Texas. I could see me being an Army wife, in Texas. I could see all of this, and I was blindsided. He didn't give two-shits about me.
I had sleep overs every night with her, because we were best friends. Our parents didn't care what we did, so long as it was together. My first best friend relationship. I was warned. I was told. I couldn't blame anyone but myself, and one day school was hell. And one day I had no friends. And one day I decided she didn't determine my destiny. And one day I was fine with not having any friends. And one day I was fine with being determined to worry about school, and work, solely. This "break-up" was worse than any love I had ever been through. I cried myself to sleep, and couldn't breathe some days, but I learned. I learned that you cannot have your cake and eat it. I learned that life doesn't always go the way you plan. I learned that you cannot tell everyone, everything about you. I learned that not everyone deserves to be trusted.
So far allofthewrongones have led me to all of the right ones. So far, allofthewrongones have been that way for a purpose. I wouldn't be where I am today without, allofthewrongones.
