Abraham,
"Never say that someone completes you. We have to feel whole even when we are by ourselves. For needing a certain someone is not love, but dependency. Wanting a person to become a part of your life is the best reason for having them there. So, rather than search for the someone who will complete you, wait for the person that will compliment your completeness."
I found this quote and couldn’t agree more. As I’ve gone through life, my short life, I’m beyond content by myself. I know how to maneuver throughout the world. Physically as in living on my own, being independent, doing what needs to get done. Mentally as in being able to carry myself about, in the world with all the troubles that lie on my shoulders. I never for a minute have not wanted you by my side. What’s important and what I’ve learned with you away is that it’s not a dependent relationship and that is what makes me very happy.
Every relationship, I’ve lived at home, and usually mentally I had been semi-dependent though the relationships were always co-dependent. That cannot work. My friend asked me why I know you are the one for me. I gave her the typical, “I love him. He makes me feel special. I don’t feel self-conscious. He makes me want to be better, everyday. Not to mention his values, morals and happiness.” But, now it’s more. Now it’s not just the way you are but the way I am. I am a part of why I love you. Honestly, if you don’t love yourself you can’t love anyone else. (Which can also go hand in hand with the original, “If you can’t love yourself no one else can love you” type quote.) Everyone is always worried about the other person loving them. You compliment me greatly, so I’ve been told. I’ve seen some but not as much as others, because all I was doing was “feeling”. Which is a great thing, but now I can see which is almost better.
I’m going to be completely honest with you. When we first started to get to know each other (it feels like a blur at this point) I recall you mentioning something like I want whomever I’m dating to be the one, like you don’t want to waste time, etc. Well, I’ve been thinking if you were the one, if you could be the father of my children, if you could be my husband, etc. I’ve reached out to a few people, one lady said, "It’s different when you are married. It’s so different. She said especially with a person of color. You will get treated poorly." Which I told her I didn’t care. She said, "It will hurt your feelings. You will get so upset." She said, "Knowing you I would be afraid to cross you because of your education and where you’ve been and where you come from in this world." My feelings on this are, you are a strong African male. You know who you are. I am a strong American female and I know who I am. If this is the biggest worry I have I’ll take it. I’ll take all the discrimination in the world. Two beings who are strong in mind can handle most anything. Neither of us is narrow-minded, nor selfish, nor un-kind.
I haven’t seen you with children, but with knowing where you’re from I’m sure you’re perfect with them. I’m done doubting anything. I think at this point it’s all up to you and what you want. Your happiness is just as important as mine. If I’m not it, that’s fine, because in the end if you’re not happy I won’t be happy.
Stay Strong. I miss and love you dearly,
Kasi. xoxo
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