Monday, January 23, 2012

I just want to swing life away.

Being the happiest person in the world has gotten me no where, but defeated. I swear my life would be the number one watched TV sitcom sometimes.

I become optimistic, I see beauty in everything around me. I laugh at everything to get me through my complex days. I do good unto others. I see hope for my future. The birds. The flowers. Love.

But, today I just can't see this beauty. A person said, no you won't see it, you refuse to see it. I just flipped that person off in my head. I knew that person would never understand what was going on.

A person said, keep your head up, smile, enjoy life, take things as they come. You know what? That may work for you but today, this week, or even this month I just want to be sad.

Then I realized I was having conversations inside my head with myself.

Someone once said if everyone put their problems in the middle of a circle, we would each take our problems back happily. I can't wait until this disgusting part of my life is over with so that I can look back and say, "I agree."

I feel like an adolescent all over again juggling: family, school, heart-break, balance-of-emotions and zits. (please, please, please go away!)

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