Sleeping

Is it just me, or is the numbers of hours you have slept in four days supposed to total more than seven ... if that. This shooting has messed me up. My stupid tonsils, do not help. I'm ready to punch babies. So, you know : "hide yo wives, hide yo kids."

In turn, I get anxiety, because I have counseling tomorrow, and I don't want to sound like I'm a crazy person. I have a feeling my therapist is going to look at me like I'm a crazed freak.

"Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that's what makes you strong." - Sarah Dessen

12/14/2012

Another Reason - I understand that this thought may be a little irrational, but the massacre that happened in Connecticut yesterday, reinforced my feelings. I have witnessed too many mothers, fathers, and families bury babies. I know that it will continue in my future as well. I feel ridiculous saying, "maybe when I'm older I will change my mind." Not only because I have lived on my own for 2.5 years, not only because I just graduated with my Bachelor of Social Work, but because I feel I have reached my maturity, and adulthood. I guess we as humans continue to grow all our lives.  

Mental Illness - We need to understand, even as the news has said, this man had a mental illness. Everyone is asking why? As they ask, I get frustrated, because I know why . . . he was very sick. NO, that does not give him the right by any means. I had hoped my Social Work Colleagues would get this, but a lot haven't. Maybe they're just angry, I have to give them the benefit of the doubt, if I'm giving a man in charge of a massacre the same respect. With that, it bugs me when people say, "He will go to hell", or "He should rot in hell." Uhm, I don't think this is properly stated. He was SICK, and I think God will forgive him, in fact if God is real, he will. At least the God I know will.  

Trauma - No, I am not directly affected by this, and no, I am not trying to move attention to me in any way shape or form. But, I cannot help but think every time I enter a movie theater, a shopping mall, my own University (which is over for about a year and half), even Wal-Mart (which I strongly dislike as it is), and the sort, that I will get shot, or witness a shooting. 

At work my anxiety is sky high, last night I couldn't even sleep. All I could think about was someone coming to my client's home and shooting us all. Whenever I closed my eyes, that's what I saw. I did before the recent shooting, but told myself it wasn't rational, now I realize that is a lie. It could in fact happen. So, i am now afraid to sleep. I sound like a crazy person, but I can assure you I am not. 

   

Gun Control - I am neither pro-gun or anti-gun. This is just my thought process, add any comments, help me to form my opinion, if you so wish. I think that we need to uphold the Second Amendment. People should be able to purchase a gun, and bare arms, no doubt. Why take away rights of the people? Massacres don't just happen, shootings don't just happen. I should feel safe with guns, with the idea of guns, with gun shots, as I did whilst I was growing up. But, I am NO longer comfortable, as I'm sure many people don't. 

My idea, which is like a few others: people need to follow the same steps it takes to get a license, and to own a car. 

1. Learn about it, Gun Safety.

2. Get a License to use it.

3. Get gun owners Insurance, before you can purchase a gun.

4. Purchase a gun when steps 1-3 are complete, and get your license renewed after X amount of years. 

"There are more good people, than bad people, look for the good ones." - Heavenly Father (per a priesthood blessing I received recently.)