What Does It Come Down To?

It comes down to loving every human being in this big wonderful, amazing, world we live within. It comes down to enjoying life, even with all the bumps in the road. See, I've learned how to be happy, even in my darkest days, and that is important. I am my own happiness . . . there is no way I can make anyone else happy if I myself, am not happy.

Some things that make me happy:

Jones Cream Soda

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

Prayer

Scriptures

Volunteering

Football, Particularly 3rd Quarter

Massages

Mani/Pedi's

My Internship

Young Children Telling Me I'm Pretty

Silence

Laughter

Love

Inner Peace

Chai Tea <3

When My Clients Say Silly and/or Lovely Things

Social Work

Women

Young Women

President Obama

Liberals

Progress

Humanity

Humanism

Jesus Christ

Humble People

Loving People

Non-Judgemental People

Tattoos

Clouds

Picnics

Ducks/Feeding Ducks

The Idea Of Sky Diving

Nail Polish

Strawberry Ice Cream

Frozen Yogurt

Sushi

Vegas Rolls

Puppies

Kittens

Gorillas/Monkies

Ghana

Ghanians

Culture

Different World Views

Rings

Theme Parks

The Zoo

Disc Golf

Exercise - LOVE Endorphins

Family & Friends

Getting notes like this my coffee cups:

Acoustic Music

Driving & Feeling Calm

Finding A Song & Putting It On Repeat For Days

Kissing Someone With Passion

Getting Kissed With Passion

Finding A Song That You Relate to. 

Friends That Answer The Phone at Two AM <3

Smiling At EVERY Stranger You Pass

Getting Smiled At First By A Stranger

. . . to name a few.

Overplanned, good-girl life.

I'm done fixing that which isn't broken.
        I'm done attempting other peoples perfection.
                I'm happy with who I am.
                        I'm going to smile, and apprecaite the small things in life.
                                I'm going to live, in the present, not in the past.
                                        I'm going to be the change I wish to seek.

   
Smile because it's all only:
temporary :)

Grad School & Ghana

I have a special place in my heart for the people of this world, but my heart is especially soft and light for the people of Ghana, and her land. So, after grad school I am going to travel to Ghana. I didn't take a graduation trip after high school. I am also not going to take one after getting my Bachelor of Social Work (BSW). But, after Grad school I am going to take one. It's totally win-win, and will be the final push to apply, and to go!

I LOVE social work, and I love what it has done for me. It has made me a better person by like 175 percent. I still have a lot of room to grow, and learn . . . hence grad school! I also received a blessing from a member of my church and after this I finally knew I needed to at least apply. And with conversations with my Heavenly Father I feel it is necessary to apply next Fall. I see so many people applying, and so excited about it. I am happy for them, and I thought I would be a little upset that I wasn't. I couldn't feel more happy about my decision.

Why Ghana? I have met so many Ghanians, dated a few, and read lots and lots of books! When you combine all of these it leaves me inspired, and with the adoration of Ghana. The people are incredible, never stop smiling, have a special light that radiates from them, and are always happy. I need to realize what living is like, and I feel like going to Ghana will be the way I learn how to live here in America. I need to see and experience things I have never seen or experienced before. Lastly, to finally learn why Soccer is so awesome. I despise the sport here, but maybe being around people who don't even know/give a crap about American Football could do me some good.

"While the rest of the world has been improving technology, Ghana has been improving the quality of man's humanity to man." - Maya Angelou

"I think we have a good team, but soccer fans will know that we're in a really tough group. The three teams in our group are really strong. The Czech Republic is a very good team, Italy is traditionally a powerhouse, and Ghana is one of the best teams in Africa." - Claudio Reyna 

Feel the burn!!!

I have been working out, and feeling the burn for two days now. I haven't had this sensation for months because of SI joint pain. I have started a new medication called Indocine, and it has reduced the inflammation, which in turn has reduced my pain level. Yesterday I did the StairMaster for 15 minutes, and a mile on the elliptical. I then did some actual workout techniques. Today I did the StairMaster for 30 minutes, and two miles on the elliptical, then a half a mile on the high stepper - which in turn burned 2200 calories. I then proceeded with an upper body weight lifting session. AND boy did it burn! :) I love it, and cannot wait to get back to where I was. 

Defense Mechanism

Mine: Laughter

Want to know all the different kinds, click here.

Yesterday in counseling we talked about defense mechanisms and how mine is laughter. The best part about that is that it is a very healthy defense mechanism. She definitely wants me to work on it, but for now she says continue doing what I'm doing because of other homework she finds more important. She asked me to make a conscious effort to recognize when I am doing it however. It's amazing to see and to reflect my life with a counselor. At first, counseling didn't seem like a great idea. After the intake, I figured I could handle things on my own still. And that the counselor couldn't tell me anything I couldn't already tell myself. I was beyond wrong, and I would recommend counseling to almost anyone.

My homework was to look at my life very objectively, to ensure I am fulfilling baby steps and not overdoing anything. I would say the puzzle is about 35% of the way put together, after 2 sessions. What a great feeling, and I am accepting that as a great accomplishment, even though this is very untypical of me. I am growing up, accepting my emotions, and not allowing them to define me and my actions. 

Life is beautiful :)

9/11

"Grammy, Grammy! Look those planes are crashing into those buildings." As my little brother pointed at the television screen, I thought to myself, "This is just some stupid new action movie, I could care less about." Then the news anchor said, "This is live in New York City, we are coming to you with more news in a moment." My grandma's face, coming into the big room, with some hot coffee she had just made herself was frightened. Which in turn made me know something wasn't right. I finished getting ready for school, as if nothing had just happened. As I walked to school I could see many peoples faces as they were driving either wet from their tears or distraught. While at school they turned on all the Televisions, which they never do, so I became more panicked. The time was never important to me as a child, but for some reason everything was slowed: the clock, the teacher, the principals, adults, cars, and even lawn mowers. I could hear the lawn mowers going at school, until they stopped, and it must have been two hours that had gone by. 

As I witnessed the one tower fall on the television my stomach went into my throat, a feeling I hadn't felt before. The the second tower fell, and all of a sudden my face was wet, soaked actually. I hadn't ever felt like this before, so to be able to explain it was not possible around 10-11 years of age. I think this may be the first connection I had with trauma. I could feel all those families sufferings, literally FEEL it. I may not have known it then, but I now know this is why I chose to be a social worker. Those events helped me feel raw emotions, I couldn't even explain. My empathy (not that I knew what that word meant), was hightened, and my soul was strengthened. 

9/11 was a horrific event, one that should never be re-enacted. This day I will carry all the victims, in our boarders, and out side our boarders, of 9/11 past, present, and future in my heart. It is definitely a day I will with all my power never forget. 

Hakuna Matata

My life long philosophy.

~ Smile, it's all only temporary :)

Simply, a mustard seed will be enough.

I hope this happens soon.

They say the Lord will not give you more than you can handle . . . I'm beginning to wonder how much I can handle. It is beautiful, but so frustrating at the same time. Life is crazy, like a Roller Coaster, but this is the one that I don't like.

The perfect depiction of my life right now. 

The person I define as my hero at the moment is Anne Frank. A beautiful woman to look up to in my opinion. She had a tough life when WWII began, and still through all in which she saw and heard she was still an optimistic person. So, for now I will keep this quote with me to help me with perspective.