As I sit in my cute little apartment filled with T.I. blaring and my cute little fire-place turned on, I can't help but miss my love. Yesterday I missed his phone call. I cannot tell you how low my heart sunk. I bet it was all the way on the floor. I just started to cry. I seem to have a crying problem lately, yesterday in particular. I was very emotionally confused yesterday. I think internally my mind knows more than my body knows.
Yesterday at lunch with my colleagues and best friends we started talking about entering the LDS Temple. Now, I don't feel worthy. I know what any member would say, "that's the devil telling you that you aren't worthy", but it's more than that! It's me knowing that when swear words pass my lips I'm not worthy, when I listen to trashy music I am not worthy, etc. People say that doesn't matter ... but to me, it does. I want to be as perfect as a human being can be. I don't think it's setting the bar too high, for I want to achieve great things and make the Lord proud of me. I would rather be at his feet defending my reason for not going, than have him tell me I shouldn't have entered. It's as simple as that.
No comments:
Post a Comment