Humanity. Love. Respect. = for all.

I've posted this video previously in my blog, though, this one is a different version. SAME LOVE by, Macklemore is the song that made me fall in love with him as an artist. At this point I'm posting this video because I like some of the words Paradise Fears adds to the song. . .

"Ask yourself what kind of person do you wanna be? And how many commandments are gonna rule how you think? And do we really mean it when we say He loves us all? And do we really believe it when they say that we're created equal? Of course I do, I'm not a racist, or an asshole. Yet, we can treat them less if their love is homosexual. Well, rules are rules. And the Bible's pretty clear here. Yeah, we know, we get it. But we don't live by procedure. We decide what's right, by what's right. Not what's written. We evolve past our outdated norms and dispositions. We don't exclude people based on the footnotes of exodus. Like my friend Halie who loves both of her dad's. You wanna tell her their love is different? You wanna make that distinction? You wanna tell her that this beautiful, and limitless thing we called love has rules? And a proper way to do it? And that their love, is less love, because an old book don't approve it. I guess, here's how I see it: you gotta heartbeat like mine. Probably get that same feeling when your fingers intertwine. Well me love, es su love. Same Heart. Same Love. Bout time that we raised up, same-sex ... press play, don't press pause, progress press on. With the veil over our eyes, we turn our backs to the cause. A world so hateful, some would rather die than be who they are. And a certificate on paper isn't gonna change it all, but it's a damn good place to start. So it's time that we stand without a doubt or concession.  Rather than sitting here gridlocked in oppression. We all raise our voices until their too loud to ignore. signing songs of acceptance. 

For those individuals who say things like, "we aren't created equal". 

No, sir, we aren't created equal, but you shouldn't get more rights, and privileges over another HUMAN being.

That's the equality I am FIGHTING for. I am fighting for equal rights, equal pay, equal privileges. I want my children to look back, and think how ridiculous it was for people to have to fight for marriage. Just like I look back and think about how ridiculous it was for people of color to be treated the way that they were. Yet they still fight, daily, for equal rights, and pay . . . even though it is between the lines.  

Don't tell me that same-sex marriage is ruining the sanctity of marriage, that you need a man and a woman to raise a child, that reverse-racism exists, or even that women are treated equal to men in the work place, or anywhere for that matter. 

Humanity.     Love.     Respect.     = for all. 

Humility

Today I added someone on Facebook whom has Cancer, then it reminded me of my friend who was just diagnosed with cancer. My mother who nearly had cancer. My grandpa who has had cancer, and goes to get chunks taken out of his skin when it comes back. My step-grandpa who I lost to cancer. All my other friends and family with cancer, and that that have friends and family with cancer. It smacked me in the face, and left me with streams of tears flowing from my eyes. My problems, though they are unfortunate, are far from the multitude that they could be. This week has been a week from hell, full of bad luck. I have so many things to be grateful for. I have so many people to love me. I have so many people to love. I am one of the lucky ones. For those going through cancer, themselves, or with family or friends, my thoughts are with you. I pray that every person touched with cancer, may get good news soon. Love. Live. Laugh.

Smile, it's all only temporary. :)

That Smile

He makes me feel like Sunday morning rain. Like the wind in my hair while riding in a convertible. Like eating the first bite of your favorite candy bar. Like Springtime sun, after a long winter. Like the sand between your toes, on your favorite beach. Like you're whole. Like you're complete. Like you've found home, because home truly is where the heart is. He brings out the best in me, and I love him for that. He makes me feel amazing, and for that I will never be able to repay him. He believes he isn't good enough for me, but really it's the other way around. Like he says, "it's in the little things" and I can honestly say I've never heard anything more true. The way he holds me, kisses me, stares at me, those are the moments that I will forever cherish. He does something to my heart, no man has ever done before, and for that I am forever grateful. 

Smile - it's all only temporary,
Kasi :)

Barbie Skinny

As I grew up, I was told I was fat. Did I see it? No. As I grew up, I grew out of my fat phase, and into a beautiful young woman. My junior year I was in a terrible car accident, in a coma, in a vegetative state. I was told I would never walk, talk, or get the education I had fought so hard to get. First I was in a wheelchair, I then began to use crutches, then a walker, then I was full on walking. First I was using a feeding tube, then thickener, then whole food. I wasn't able to hit the gym for quite a while. I began "overly" not-taking-my-life-for-granted, eating whatever, whenever, however much I wanted.

I began to lose weight, for the wrong reasons. For society, for boyfriends, for friends, for "that" attention. This past year has been one of the hardest, it was the year I realized that I was fat. I could see it, for the first time. I could never see how fat I was, whether it was denial, I don't know. But, when I looked in the mirror I saw my 150 pound self, until this year. This year I saw the 300 pounds. This year I saw someone I knew I wasn't. But, I began having problems with my back. Most people probably think the back problems are because I'm fat, but really it's my SI joints, from my accident. Sure, the added weight isn't helpful, but it's not because I'm fat. 

So, here I sit, writing this blog. Putting it out for the world to see (the ten people that follow it.) I began being fit, I had lost 75 pounds, and looked great. I was reaching my fitness goals, then bam, life came down. But, I'm ready (and my doctors say I'm ready) to start again. I am going to be crawling to the door, to the car, to the gym, to the equipment at the gym, etc. for a  while. But, this time it is for me. Not for society, not for my family, not for boys, or anyone. I want to be fit. I will be fit. 

After seeing this image, and the description it makes me angry. Our society is fucked up. I can only hope that people really explain to their daughters (and sons) the importance of a balanced DIET, then they will never diet. Also, the importance of balanced exercise. I never want anyone to feel the ways I have felt over body image. It's damaging not only to ones physical health, but to ones mental health as well.  

If Barbie was an actual woman, she would be 5’9” tall, have a 39” bust, an 18” waist, 33” hips and a size 3 shoe.

• Barbie calls this a “full figure” and likes her weight at 110 lbs.

• At 5’9” tall and weighing 110 lbs, Barbie would have a BMI of 16.24 and fit the weight criteria for anorexia. She likely would not menstruate.

• If Barbie was a real woman, she’d have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.

• Slumber Party Barbie was introduced in 1965 and came with a bathroom scale permanently set at 110 lbs with a book entitled “How to Lose Weight” with directions inside stating simply “Don’t eat.”

Goddamned

I had to learn how to tell others that I believed in God, and I was shunned by many. I now am learning how to tell others I don't believe in God, and I feel just as shunned. I'm actually receiving more love, and acceptance from those that are very religious, over those that aren't. Maybe there is a God, and if you look back to a previous blog (Ho! Ho! Ho!) you'll find out more of what my thoughts are on this subject. I'm sure there will also be more I write about in the future. I adore the following song, but more important the person performing. 

I'm marching to Zion, a camera in my hand.
I hear people cryin', dyin' for this blood-stained land.
The streets of old Jerusalem are lined with souvenirs and those buying them.
It sounds cold but I cannot see how this theme park has shaped history.

'Cause virgins don't have babies
And water, it isn't wine
And there's a holy spirit, maybe
But she would never rent a room with walls built by mankind.
Mary and Mohammed are screaming through the clouds
For you to lay your goddamned arms down
Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground

Stand in line patiently to super-charge your rosary
Or stuff your prayers inside this wall.
We once had God trapped in this great hall
But we've been cast out from this place
They say a prophet floated from here to outer space.
Am I crazy?
Maybe it's me, but this all sounds like mythology.

'Cause virgins don't have babies
And water, it isn't wine
And there's a holy spirit, maybe
But she would never rent a room with walls built by mankind
Mary and Mohammed are screaming through the clouds
For you to lay your goddamned arms down
Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground

Zeus was afraid of his girlfriend so he swallowed her in bed
And he bore forth Athena when they cracked open his head
Her brother tried to rape her, Athena got away
And when his seed hit the ground the grass gave birth that day
Now we all freely admit this story's clearly bullshit
No one will lay down their life or start a war for it
So throw your stones and pray
You'll be rewarded some day
I hope it all goes your way
But something tells me no one's coming to save you
No one's coming to save you 
No one's coming to save you
Save yourself 
From turning earth into hell

No one's coming to save you
No one's coming to save you
No one's coming to save you
No one's coming to save you

Mary and Mohammed are screaming through the clouds
For you to lay your goddamned arms down
Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Today is Christmas, yay! It's funny as how a kid you cannot sleep because the magic of Christmas is so beautiful. You eventually get to sleep, and before you know it you're aching to see what Santa Claus and his reindeer have brought you. You tip-toe out to the tree to see your new boom box with N'SYNC and Britney Spears' new CD, your new bike (even though it's winter), you hear a cell phone ringing (the one you begged your grandparents for). 

This morning, I'm up and there is a 50" LCD Flat Screen Television, and a Soda Stream out from Santa, neither of which are mine, but I know mine is somewhere. I know what it is, because my mom made sure it was what I wanted. My stocking is leaning on the television, and I want to rip it open, because stockings are my favorite, period. 

The meaning of Christmas is clear for most Christians. I am struggling with it, in the realm that I don't know if I believe in God, for that matter, Jesus Christ. I feel the cleansing power of the atonement. I have been blessed in extensive amounts. I have always said God blessed me, God loves me, God is with me. I didn't believe in God until I was 16 - and I don't want to loose the idea that God is real. But, Santa used to be real as well. As did the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. Most of my LDS friends tell me, it's the adversary, but I don't know that this is the case. You cannot go wrong following something that is positive and uplifting, but I also cannot live my life tip-toeing around. It's my agency, I get it, but I don't want to just live by faith anymore. I found a quote the other day that made so much sense, and left me able to breathe. 

Sleeping

Is it just me, or is the numbers of hours you have slept in four days supposed to total more than seven ... if that. This shooting has messed me up. My stupid tonsils, do not help. I'm ready to punch babies. So, you know : "hide yo wives, hide yo kids."

In turn, I get anxiety, because I have counseling tomorrow, and I don't want to sound like I'm a crazy person. I have a feeling my therapist is going to look at me like I'm a crazed freak.

"Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that's what makes you strong." - Sarah Dessen