Anniversary

Today I am not just thankful, but blessed.

The first responders, including my hero, Pat Killian. 

Life-Flight. 

The UofU trauma team. 

The UofU Emergency Room nurses, and doctors. 

My orthopedic surgeon, Alpeesh Patel. 

My orthopedic surgeon, Erik Kubiak. 

My opthamologist Boopie Patel.

The UofU SICU floor. 

The UofU ICU floor. 

The IMC Rehabilitation floor. 

ALL of the nurses, doctors, and therapists that got me going again especially, Kristin my CNA. 

My Physical Therapists.

My Speech Therapists.

My mom.

My father.

My brother.

My family - even distant cousins who gave me healing blessings.

My friends.

My church leaders who not only made my blanket, but also who prayed and visited me in the hospital.

My classmates both at Itineris, and at Hillcrest.

My teachers both at Itineris, and Mr. Bentley at Hillcrest. 

My mentors - Ms. Bradfield, Ms. Putnam, Ms. Ward.

Members of my LDS faith who put my name in the Temple.

Members of my LDS faith who prayed for me.

Jesus Christ.

Heavenly Father.

I will never be the same. I will never feel normal, but what is normal? As I have been going through Therapy I have learned a lot. My anxiety has shortened. Letting others drive has heightened. But, when I talk about it, I still cry. I don't know if that will change. I do know that I think about it less. I worry about it less. I am beyond blessed for this. The trauma comes back to haunt me at the most inopportune times, but when it happens I am thankful to be able to remember all of the above individuals. I am reminded that you cannot go through life alone. I am reminded that even though it doesn't feel like others care, they do. Others care about you, more than you know. I am reminded to LOVE life. I truly know how to live. I will live. I will have the courage and strength to carry on, even though some days it feels impossible. 

What I carry away from this accident is the fact that everyone has a story. People have so much perseverance. I had to have the will to LIVE. My FAITH had to be strengthened. I had to become humble. I am here for a reason, a reason much larger than any selfish thing I can think of. I have a purpose - a true purpose - that only I can fulfill. 

Smile, it's only temporary. 

"November, the month where everyone is so THANKFUL for their lives, and in every aspect. But, I get to be THANKFUL everyday I open my eyes because [Pat Killian] you helped me, and didn't have to. [Pat Killian] You are my hero - I can only hope I can be half of the hero you are in my Social Work journey."  

Above is what I wrote in the card below to my hero, Pat Killian. The man that I will never forget. Almost five years later, and look where I am at. This isn't where I thought, nor any professional that helped me thought, I would be. Even though it has been a long journey, and continues to be a daily struggle, I am thankful that I have turned out the way I have turned out. I'm even more thankful for the fact that I am alive, and will only continue to progress. I only have one person to thank today for that, and it is Mr. Pat Killian.   

My Practicum/Social Work

People will forget what you said.

People will forget what you did. 

But, people will never forget how you made them feel.

Out of all the things in the world one could be, I chose to become a Social Worker. As I am doing my practicum, I am learning more than I thought possible. My heart is definitely in the right place. I'm beyond thankful for finding my  niche. 

The past couple weeks I have learned more about myself than I thought possible. I  love  me, and I  love  people, and I  love  (young) women. Today in one of the forums at one of the schools in the state I had a hunch that one of the participants is struggling with an eating disorder. I thanked my God for reminding me daily how beautiful I am, and that I don't need to harm myself. A couple days ago another participant said she thought she was ugly, she's very young and it about broke my heart. I know I have a lot to offer, but I know the world has ten fold to offer me. I'm  thankful  for my love of Social Work, and for Social Work loving me back.  

Social Work

My true love: Social Work

Though yesterday it was football, today it has changed to Social Work. I still love football, with a lot of passion, but social work is where I can truly love with all that I have inside of my soul. 

Today we had a couple of speakers working with a couple of different populations. One being the Trans(exual/gender) community. The other being the Refugee community. I felt my heart begin to soften, my eyes begin to fill, and this uncontrollable feeling to cry. I said to myself, "YOU can be the change. YOU will be the change." 

I then decided I was going to take part in a couple events in the near future. TDR(Trans Day of Remembrance), as well as go to a lecture event to listen to some other current hot topics in the Trans(exual/gender) community.  

Some of you know about my mindset, my struggle, and my growth under the umbrella of LGBTQ community. I wrote a paper on this in my Social Work writing course,  and though it helped, I  still struggle. 

So, on November 20th I am attending TDR at 6:30 PM and I can only hope that my friends will also take part in this event with me. 

Also, I am going to take a tour of the Hartland Center, and become a volunteer. My want to go to Africa has heightened - and I feel this will be the best way to see if I am up for the challenge to go and work with the people. I believe if anything, it will sway my decisions to go 10 times stronger. I love the African people, and cannot wait to embark on my journey to discovery.   

One Love.