My best friend won't be here this year.
Eyes cannot dry out.
Soul cannot be still.
Heart cannot be mended.
Memories cannot be fulfilled.
Sleep cannot cover the pain.
Words cannot calm.
Dreams cannot make up.
My best friend won't be here this year.
My wish is that you could be here physically, but I know that cannot happen. So, until I see you again please continue to be my strength.
I would say this is my fifth time getting back on the horse. If I have to get on twenty more times I will, but I don't want to. I'm starting out slow, as slow as a babies first crawl, or even a child's first time riding a bike. I may stumble, but I won't fall off completely this time. This time I am starting with nutrition. I am taking it at a different angle. This time instead of working out first then introducing a new diet, I am introducing a new diet then introducing the fitness. EVEN THOUGH I AM DOING SMALL HOME WORKOUTS ALONG THE WAY.
I used to get injured at the gym, and fall off of two horses - nutrition and physical activity. At least at this point I will have something to fall back on, nutrition. They say 80% of weight loss is in the kitchen, though I don't totally agree with that, I know there is some truth that you cannot do one without the other - but I know that nutrition is what keeps you balanced. Other benefits are that my acne will clear up, and my state of mind, and mental capacity will improve.
I just have to remember it doesn't happen over night. Also, that no matter what; I need to love myself, and love my body. You only get one, may as well treat it right. I am learning to love my body, and that's the most important part.
I wanted to take this time and thank my fiance for making me a better woman every day of my life. The best part of our relationship is how I fall more and more in love, every day, with this man. He is the sweetest, funniest, calmest, most sincere person that I know. He is my anchor, and helps me to keep firm in my foundation. He is my best friend, my soul-mate, my rabbit, my anchor. He tells me like it is, holds me to my word, and accepts me for who I am, whole-heartedly. I have never felt this kind of unconditional love until I met Christopher. He is my other half, the person that I need, and the person that I want. Thank you for loving me through everything. You are my rock, you are my happy place, and you mean everything to me.
Although, it has been a huge sigh of relief my heart is still broken.
They were right, they were really right.
All I know is that I am left here ... without you. Missing you, wishing you were still here to be with me. To sit with me, and just chill with each other. To simply be. siblings.
On Thursday, December 19th, 2013 I will stand in solidarity with my boyfriend's mother, sister, and any other human rights activists willing to stand in support of unlawful DUI's, and in particular my boyfriend's. We are not standing there to shame ALL West Jordan Police or to say they are ALL are corrupt, or at fault. We are simply standing there to say, we will not go away, until these bogus DUI's cease to continue.
If you aren't doing anything, and would like to join with us in protest before his hearing on December 19th, 2013 please do so. If you can stay for the hearing as well, he would love any additional support.
Below are photos, videos, and links for additional information. Also, at the protest we will have the documents supporting our cause. Proof of NO alcohol, and NO illegal drugs in his blood work. Also, the witness' statement, along with the police reports. His mother also has and ongoing petition you can sign online, or at the protest on Thursday.
12/09/2013
12/10/2013
12/11/2013
12/17/2013
12/17/2013
12/17/2013
12/17/2013
12/17/2013
Watch this video - Victoria explaining why we are out protesting:
Until I can upload the video of Victoria victoriously delivering the petition this morning, here is the link to it: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152111026216967&set=o.600666959994944&type=2&theater
Thank you for your time!
Kasandra Atkinson
The LINK to the protest's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/events/600666959994944/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming
The LINK to the online petition - additional names will be taken to the Governor daily: http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/utah-judge-kunzs-court-1.fb40?source=c.fb.ty&r_by=2084158
As a young adult, I have experimented with alcohol. I'm sorry, but if you tell a human NOT to do something, they're more than likely going to do it. Like when you tell a young child not to touch the stove, it's 'hot', the child has to touch the stove to find out for his/her self . . . or else they'll never learn. I think, this example holds true to many other aspects of life. Today I am thankful for the will power my Heavenly Father has given me. It has been a true two month sobriety for myself. That's right, two months. I am not here to brag or boast, nor am I here to applaud myself. I in no way, shape, or form think a drink once in a while is a bad thing. Really, I don't. But, when you're using it to cope, when you're using it to numb, or when you use it and you change as a person ( as a whole) I think that is where the issue rises. Why did I stop? Well, I could see it being an issue in my future. I wanted a well-rounded life. I didn't want to sit in depression with everything that has gone on in the past month and drink my sorrows away. All I can say is that I am proud that I put the adult beverages down, saw that now was not the time, nor the place for such beverages. I am glad that I have the knowledge that drinking does no good for the body, mind, heart and/or soul. Love one another :)
You have friends in your life that are put in your life for a reason. Today, Asheleigh Ramirez is the one that I am thankful for. This girl has been by my side, even when we were too young to realize what friends really were. I remember her being told by another person in our friend circle that I kissed her boyfriend, Victor. This started the feud we had between each other. I wouldn't ever kiss a boy that I knew a friend liked. I was too shy for that anyways. Through the years we laughed, cried, hated, and loved with and toward each other. Her home felt like my home, and I was envious when other friends of ours got her attention more than me. I fought for her time, for her friendship, and I would do it all again if I had to. Asheleigh is the reason I like Usher and B2K. I cannot listen to either of their music and not think of her. I was in Asheleigh's Quienceanera, which was an amazing celebration of such a beautiful woman. Now, we get together every so often and have girl's nights/days and it is amazing. I can go to her for her honest opinion, and I know that I will get it. I know that she only has my best interest in mind, and that she loves me whether I accept her advice, or not. My love for her isn't your average love for a friend. She is my sister, my other half, and quite possibly my soul mate. Soul mate to some is a romantic partner, but I am taking it further than that. Asheleigh knows me inside and out, she loves me for me. The best part is her child. When she told me she was pregnant I was stunned, to be honest. Now that he is here, and now that he is part of my life, I love him like I do my own baby cousins. He is just as much family as Asheleigh is. I am a blessed woman to have these two incredible people in my life. I love you, girl.
P.S.
I promise to never forget how to spell your name, ever.
