Fear is a Prison

"She had stayed a virgin so she wouldn't be called a tramp or a slut; had married so she wouldn't be called an old maid; faked orgasms so she wouldn't be called frigid; had children so she wouldn't be called barren; had not been a feminist because she didn't want to be called queer and a man-hater; never nagged or raised her voice so she wouldn't be called a bitch… She had done all that and yet, still, this stranger had dragged her into the gutter with the names that men call women when they are angry."
~ Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe

B: "I'm going to the mall for Black Friday."
U: "There is going to be lots of pussy there. They will be all done up and looking great. Except for the [nasty] ones that won't get ready at all and will be going to hit all the sales."
B: "Yeah!"
...FIVE MINUTES LATER
B: "Look at her, she's hot!" (While watching a football game.)
Me: "I don't appreciate that, and it makes me feel like I have to look like that to be hot, of which I never will." 
B: "Oh my gosh, calm down."
U: "Don't do that, Kasandra, not today. I don't want to hear it."

You know what I don't want to hear? You. I don't want to hear you open your mouth. I don't care to listen to such disrespect. This is what is wrong with our nation. We teach our children by example, and not always the best one. Want to know another thing is wrong with our nation? If a guy talked about me like that in front of my family members they would tell him to stop talking about me like that - yet they do it to every skinny, white, big boob, nice ass, great smile, sweet, sexy woman that come into their sight. I'm thoroughly disgusted. One thing is for sure, I no longer FEAR to stand up to people, especially my family. (Some say that I have no respect, though I say it's a human rights issue.) I no longer FEAR that my opinion isn't valid. Want to know why? Because, Fear is a prison, and I don't want to be in prison. 

My Practicum/Social Work

People will forget what you said.

People will forget what you did. 

But, people will never forget how you made them feel.

Out of all the things in the world one could be, I chose to become a Social Worker. As I am doing my practicum, I am learning more than I thought possible. My heart is definitely in the right place. I'm beyond thankful for finding my  niche. 

The past couple weeks I have learned more about myself than I thought possible. I  love  me, and I  love  people, and I  love  (young) women. Today in one of the forums at one of the schools in the state I had a hunch that one of the participants is struggling with an eating disorder. I thanked my God for reminding me daily how beautiful I am, and that I don't need to harm myself. A couple days ago another participant said she thought she was ugly, she's very young and it about broke my heart. I know I have a lot to offer, but I know the world has ten fold to offer me. I'm  thankful  for my love of Social Work, and for Social Work loving me back.  

What Does It Come Down To?

It comes down to loving every human being in this big wonderful, amazing, world we live within. It comes down to enjoying life, even with all the bumps in the road. See, I've learned how to be happy, even in my darkest days, and that is important. I am my own happiness . . . there is no way I can make anyone else happy if I myself, am not happy.

Some things that make me happy:

Jones Cream Soda

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

Prayer

Scriptures

Volunteering

Football, Particularly 3rd Quarter

Massages

Mani/Pedi's

My Internship

Young Children Telling Me I'm Pretty

Silence

Laughter

Love

Inner Peace

Chai Tea <3

When My Clients Say Silly and/or Lovely Things

Social Work

Women

Young Women

President Obama

Liberals

Progress

Humanity

Humanism

Jesus Christ

Humble People

Loving People

Non-Judgemental People

Tattoos

Clouds

Picnics

Ducks/Feeding Ducks

The Idea Of Sky Diving

Nail Polish

Strawberry Ice Cream

Frozen Yogurt

Sushi

Vegas Rolls

Puppies

Kittens

Gorillas/Monkies

Ghana

Ghanians

Culture

Different World Views

Rings

Theme Parks

The Zoo

Disc Golf

Exercise - LOVE Endorphins

Family & Friends

Getting notes like this my coffee cups:

Acoustic Music

Driving & Feeling Calm

Finding A Song & Putting It On Repeat For Days

Kissing Someone With Passion

Getting Kissed With Passion

Finding A Song That You Relate to. 

Friends That Answer The Phone at Two AM <3

Smiling At EVERY Stranger You Pass

Getting Smiled At First By A Stranger

. . . to name a few.

To The Sky

TO THE SKY

this is for the girl who just got in another fight with her parents
another night just staring at the ceiling
feeling like there's no one that really cares if she's there or not
she's got friends and enemies, trends and envy, gets compared a lot
for the girl under pressure
her boyfriend will think less if
she doesn't sext him the message
about to give it all up
man these boys and man these poisons
so many choices & voices - why is it on us?
for any girl that ever thought she didn't fit in
or was mocked for religion, or ever thought to stop living
for the girl so rich that she'd sport nothing short of a Benz
for the girl so poor she couldn't afford the rims
for the girl by the candlelight
trying to hold the camera right
gotta get the angle right
this facebook candid has gotta be off the handle right?
things would be grand if like she only had the life
this is for the jealous
for the wannabe Bellas, Britneys, Kardashians
Kate Middletons, Beyonces
soul surfers and soul searchers
wondering about the whole purpose of this so-called life
what's my sole purpose? nothing ever goes right
for the girl reading the script on the elliptical at LA Fitness til they close
for the girl buying clothes like they're going out of style
for the girl running alone
for the girl coming home that hasn't been home in a while

lift your head
lift your eyes to the sky
it spells your name
lift your feet
your heart, and start to believe
you're meant to dream big dreams

for every awkward stance at every awkward dance
every awkward glance longing for him to approach her
but he just walks past with friends, put the cap on the lens
the last song ends and the last door closes
for any girl hoping for roses but getting dirt
hoping to be noticed or hoping to get over getting hurt
this is for the unspoken, for the ones broken
just trying to hold on to hope when things are only getting worse
for the girl going through a divorce
the wife or the daughter, for the girl with no father
no prospects and no options
for the locker room girl, for the thoughtful girl
for every been through a lot girl (I see you)
for the single mom pushing the stroller uphill
both ways she knows pain she holds face but still
she's fighting back tears, been a mighty bad year
dreams as a child never looked quite like what I have here
for the girl with regrets, neglecting self-respect
for the girl giving everything until she's got nothing left
for the girl reminiscing on what could have been
for the girl settling cuz there's not enough good men
for the girl with the perfect life
husband and kids, everything working right
for the girl that's wondering if that stuff exists
this is for the lonely
for the girl searching for something
and wondering what that something is

I'm only a man I can only imagine what you go through
just want you to understand this image - there's no limit to the finish that you can go to
what if I told you that you hold the torch?
you're the source, you're the lantern
to hold men to a higher standard
you hold the power
in this stampede through the orchard you're the hope for the flowers
you're the sunshine you're the rain
you make everything more beautiful
without you music wouldn't be musical
poems wouldn't be poetic
you set the tone
you possess strength you've never known, forever glowing
like a precious stone in the evening, the best achievement of eden
when I say you're never alone - I really mean it
when you're dreaming keep believing it'll be true
keep the persistence, conviction, and the vision to see it through
keep improving on yourself, know that every time you
are wishing you were someone else, someone's wishing to be you
so take control and own it
one day he's gonna ask you to dance
and when he does he'll be worthy of the moment
time frozen like a broken iphone and
on some Jill Scott notion living life like it's golden
you are amazing
i wish i could put a mirror in the sky so you can see you when you're star gazing
shining your divine nature, you're fine aint you?
in his greatest landscapes Monet couldn't paint you
I admire your radiance, hope you never hold it back when
they come to attack it
I guess the plan is to damage the perfect workmanship
your body is a temple
they attempt to burn it down so there's nothing left to worship in
these words inadequate to say nothing exceeds you
I'm sorry it's way long, that's how much time that I needed to
explain why I believe in you, I hope that you proceed to
stay strong and be you
please, we need you

http://www.qwiet.com/lyrics/#/_music/MOR/lyrics/ToTheSky