FHMC

My seminar professor hates when people use acronyms, and then doesn't tell people what the acronyms stand for - This acronym stands for the four topics I am going to blog about: football, homelessness, marriage, and a change of heart, mind, and soul.

Football: Tomorrow is the black out football game, a game I have been looking forward to for some time now. I absolutely love football, and I cannot wait to go. My mom is going to be going with me as well, so I'm beyond stoked. It's at 7:45 at night, so it will be extremely cold, but I don't mind.  

Homelessness: As I was driving home the other day from I believe my mom's house in Midvale I got off of the freeway exit closest to my apartment. As I was driving past a laundry-mat these elderly people of color were scouring the sidewalks, gutters, and streets for any money they could find. I began to get emotional. After my mom's I had just went to the grocery store for a couple items such as bananas and apples - I pulled over into the parking lot, handed them the bananas, apples, and celery. I then asked them if they would like to get in my car to warm up and I'd take them to get a hot chocolate or coffee. The lady said, "Oh, no!" we couldn't do that you've done enough. I proceeded to say well, I don't think I have done hardly enough. The lady said, "no one has been this kind to us, even at the shelters we're treated different because of our skin color." I began to cry. The elderly man said, "don't cry, you're far too beautiful to be crying. You have such a good heart, do not let things get to your heart like that. Guard your heart, but not your mind." I took them over to the convenient store, got them a large warm beverage, asked them where they needed a ride to - then again declined. I persisted, they said they were fine. I invited them to sit in my car a bit longer, they thanked me and said God Bless. I still feel so helpless - but hey they had some nutritious food, and warm beverages in their stomach. I'm beyond privileged.

Marriage: I went to a wedding this evening for two of my very good friends. As I got there, everything was fine. As I hugged one of my friends I cried, I apologized for crying, and cried some more. He looked at me and said, "I love you, you know that right?" I then proceeded to cry. It was (selfish) sorrow, gratitude, happiness, and love that was flooding my face. This in turn made him tear up, which in turn made me cry again. I hugged him, said congratulations, walked away and wept. I then saw the bride and she was absolutely gorgeous, the tears ceased, until I was in my car and as I was driving back I began to get emotional, and could feel that my heart was so heavy. I have a love/hate relationship with marriage and weddings. 

Change of heart and mind: I have changed from inside out. I am a different person, internally. Life is looking up. I couldn't be more proud of myself. Hopefully I make it to the temple sooner, than later. :) 

Africa

My heart is in Africa. Call me crazy, but I love it. As I have been watching African movies about genocide today, instead of doing my homework, I have been glued to learning more about Africa. I have been interested in Africa since my ex-boyfriend, and my craving for more has just increased in the past few months. I yearn to go there, work with the people, understand their lives and culture. I yearn for love, friendship, hope, and peace. I know that all of my desires won't all be fulfilled with my time on this planet, possibly anyone's time on this planet, but I have faith that one day we will all live in peace. 

Simply, a mustard seed will be enough.

I hope this happens soon.

They say the Lord will not give you more than you can handle . . . I'm beginning to wonder how much I can handle. It is beautiful, but so frustrating at the same time. Life is crazy, like a Roller Coaster, but this is the one that I don't like.

The perfect depiction of my life right now. 

The person I define as my hero at the moment is Anne Frank. A beautiful woman to look up to in my opinion. She had a tough life when WWII began, and still through all in which she saw and heard she was still an optimistic person. So, for now I will keep this quote with me to help me with perspective.