A Walk Through Hell

In middle school, chica-wang introduced this amazing band to me. I've loved them sense, and this song seems to follow me around. From middle school, to high school, now on to college. Stefanie was listening to this song one day on the way to I believe, Sweet Tooth Fairy and it made me smile! I then made a mix tape "CD" for Tania and Stefanie with songs that I adore and remind me of them. Now, I just love reminiscing to this amazing song that will never leave my heart. 

And if I could swim, I'd swim out to you in the ocean,
Swim out to where you were floating in the dark.
And if I was blessed, I'd walk on the water you're breathing,
To lend you some air for that heaving, sunken chest.

'Cause they chose you as the model for their empty little dreams,
With your new head and your legs spread like a filthy magazine.
And they hunt you, and they gut you, and you give in.

And if I was brave, I'd climb up to you on the mountain,
They led you to drink from their fountain spouting lies.
And I'd slay the horrible beast they commissioned
To steer me away from my mission to your eyes.
And I'd stand there, like a soldier, with my foot upon his chest,
With my grin spread, and my arms out, in my bloodstained Sunday's best,
And you'd hold me; I'd remind you who you are under their shell.

I'd walk through hell for you, let it burn right through my shoes
These soles are useless without you
Through hell for you, let the torturing ensue;
My soul is useless without you...

And if they send a whirlwind, I'd hug it like a harmless little tree.
Or an earthquake, I'd calm it, and I'd bring you back to me.
And I'd hold you in my weak arms like a first born.

I'd walk through hell for you, let it burn right through my shoes,
These soles are useless without you
Through hell for you, let the torturing ensue;
My soul is useless without you...

Through hell for you
Through hell for you
Without you, without you...

Now I've walked through hell for you.
What's an adventurer to do, 
But rest these feet at home with you?

Ain't No Reason

This song is beautiful, for more than one reason. If you know me, you know that ever word of this song is so raw and true. Being blunt is in my nature. He sings this song amazingly and gives it so much power. Much love to him and this song ... 

Ain't No Reason - Brett Dennen

There ain’t no reason things are this way.

Its how they always been and they intend to stay.
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday. 


Preachers on the podium speakin’ to saints..
Prophet on the sidewalk beggin’ for change,
Old ladies laughing from the fire escape, cursing my name.
I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same,
A window and a pigeon with a broken wing,
You can spend your whole life workin’ for something
Just to have it taken away.
People walk around pushin back their debts.
Wearing pay checks like necklaces and bracelets,
Talking ‘bout nothing, not thinking ‘bout death,
Every little heartbeat, every little breath.
People walk a tight rope on a razors edge
Carrying their hurt and hatred and weapons.
It could be a bomb or a bullet or a pen
Or a thought or a word or a sentence.

There Ain't no reason things are this way.
It's how they always been and they intend to stay
I don’t know why I say the things I say, but I say them anyway.
But love will come set me free
Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes.
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com 

Prison walls still standing tall,
Some things never change at all.
Keep on buildin’ prisons, gonna fill them all,
Keep on buildin’ bombs, gonna drop them all.
Workin' your fingers bare to the bone,
Breakin' ya back, make ya sell your soul,
Like a lung thats filled with coal, suffocating slow
The wind blows wild and I may move,
The politicians lie and I am not fooled.
You don't need no reason or a three piece suit to argue the truth.
The air on my skin and the world under my toes,
Slavery stitched into the fabric of my clothes,
Chaos and commotion wherever I go, love I try to follow.

Love will come set me free
Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes.

There ain't no reason things are this way
It’s how they always been and they intend to stay
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday.

Living just to find emotion

Some say we choose our destiny, others say we don't. I can agree with both groups of people.Life is beautiful; from conception to birth, from birth to adulthood, from adulthood to death. I find every aspect, step, and journey through life to be absolutely breath taking. 

When things happen to me I think about how it is going to, or how it does relate to the bigger picture. If something bad or good happens right out of the gate, I don't necessarily understand it, but when other little bad and/or good things happen I can see why the initial thing had to happen. So, did I choose for it to happen? I don't know, but a lot of the things that happen to me seem to fit me, good or bad. 

At this point in my life I've realized a few things. People DO in fact change, but on their time, not my time. Life IS rough, but it is rough for everyone! And that it is never too late to start what you wanted to start yesterday, today! Life is beautiful, even on its darkest days. 

BOYCE AVENUE

This makes my heart smile. One of my favorites! :)

"Change the voices, In your head
Make them like you Instead."

Smell the roses . . .

I get why people tell me to stop and smell the roses, for I tell others the same thing. I want to tell all the voices, not just the external voices and not just the voices inside my head, but also inside my heart to just go away. I have people pulling at my heart-strings. I have others pulling at my brain; stretching and expanding it with each moment that passes. I asked a professor of mine if I should pursue something that makes me want to cry every second, or something that keeps me calm and on track. Of course she would say something that makes me want to cry every second. I knew what the answer would be, but thought maybe I put too much on my shoulders, and the answer might be different. I just want to be able to breathe, not just inhaling and exhaling, but to really be able to breathe to catch a second for myself. I find even on my days off there isn't much time for that. I'm so used to being busy I give myself tasks to do even throughout my days off because if I don't I feel like I'm not doing enough as a person. Oh,  but  I  am  !

I have made myself take SUMMER semester off. One minute I'm relieved, the next minute I'm in panic mode. I don't feel as though I will have my support system i.e., my colleagues there to push and love me like they do on a daily basis. I guess it will be my proof that I really do have it in me to do what I have to. Wow! Come this time next year I will have my Bachelor of Social Work degree, never had I thought I would be this successful in my college career. But, I have done this for me. At least this portion. I've done everything up to Social Work for my family, but now I'm doing what I love and what I know is right.

Individuals say, "Oh, it's just a piece of paper. Just because you have a degree, doesn't mean you have common sense." I refuse to get upset about that anymore, because you know what? That piece of paper is what has helped me realize what I want to do in this world, with the people of this world, and for the generations to come. I am no longer a person who just sits and minds my own business. I help my fellow human-beings by whatever means I can. THAT is what my education has taught me! That I'm not the only person in this big, huge, and sometimes lonely world. It's taught me that life is beautiful, and that if you ask for help you'll more than likely receive it. (And that failing will only put you where you're meant to be.) It's taught me that no one has to share my opinion, and that all I can do is respect other peoples opinions. It's taught me that there is no right and wrong - but there is love. LOVE is something that cannot necessarily be taught by books or by lecture, but by feeling. Love and a smile are the two words, that in any language, can only be taught through feeling. It's beautiful, truly beautiful and I'm beyond blessed to have learned this. So, no, when you say my degree will get me no where, know this, it already has.

Just smile, it's only temporary. <3

The world at my fingertips

At 18 I thought I had made it to adult hood.

At 19 I thought I had life figured out.

At 20 I thought I was no longer a teenager, and realized life had already started. 

At 21 I think life is the most beautiful journey, given to me, as a gift.

I no longer feel like I miss my childhood. I've finally let it go. Yes, 2 days after I turned 21, and I have let my childhood go. Why? Because I am now a role model and am beginning to be the change I always looked for in the world. I refuse to be passive any longer. I refuse to hold in my feelings. I am a tool in the Lord's hands, and I now know this is why I'm still on this planet. "I am blessed", is an understatement. 

Jems

Rolling down your windows on the car ride home from work.
Realizing you have FRIDAY and SATURDAY off.
Sushi with amazing girls and remembering tomorrow is your birthday.

Life is far too beautiful lately. :)