Smell the roses . . .

I get why people tell me to stop and smell the roses, for I tell others the same thing. I want to tell all the voices, not just the external voices and not just the voices inside my head, but also inside my heart to just go away. I have people pulling at my heart-strings. I have others pulling at my brain; stretching and expanding it with each moment that passes. I asked a professor of mine if I should pursue something that makes me want to cry every second, or something that keeps me calm and on track. Of course she would say something that makes me want to cry every second. I knew what the answer would be, but thought maybe I put too much on my shoulders, and the answer might be different. I just want to be able to breathe, not just inhaling and exhaling, but to really be able to breathe to catch a second for myself. I find even on my days off there isn't much time for that. I'm so used to being busy I give myself tasks to do even throughout my days off because if I don't I feel like I'm not doing enough as a person. Oh,  but  I  am  !

I have made myself take SUMMER semester off. One minute I'm relieved, the next minute I'm in panic mode. I don't feel as though I will have my support system i.e., my colleagues there to push and love me like they do on a daily basis. I guess it will be my proof that I really do have it in me to do what I have to. Wow! Come this time next year I will have my Bachelor of Social Work degree, never had I thought I would be this successful in my college career. But, I have done this for me. At least this portion. I've done everything up to Social Work for my family, but now I'm doing what I love and what I know is right.

Individuals say, "Oh, it's just a piece of paper. Just because you have a degree, doesn't mean you have common sense." I refuse to get upset about that anymore, because you know what? That piece of paper is what has helped me realize what I want to do in this world, with the people of this world, and for the generations to come. I am no longer a person who just sits and minds my own business. I help my fellow human-beings by whatever means I can. THAT is what my education has taught me! That I'm not the only person in this big, huge, and sometimes lonely world. It's taught me that life is beautiful, and that if you ask for help you'll more than likely receive it. (And that failing will only put you where you're meant to be.) It's taught me that no one has to share my opinion, and that all I can do is respect other peoples opinions. It's taught me that there is no right and wrong - but there is love. LOVE is something that cannot necessarily be taught by books or by lecture, but by feeling. Love and a smile are the two words, that in any language, can only be taught through feeling. It's beautiful, truly beautiful and I'm beyond blessed to have learned this. So, no, when you say my degree will get me no where, know this, it already has.

Just smile, it's only temporary. <3