Thank the Lord (Allah, Buddha, etc.)

Today I was being interviewed to be on a show called "I survived ..." well the lady asked me so many questions to quite a few I cried. I can't believe how talking about it (my accident) makes me tear up. It didn't at first but right now I'm crying and amazed at how blessed I am. The Lord (Buddah, Allah, etc) won't let me fail. He won't let me struggle too hard before he/she comes in and helps me out!

For instance, I was worried I would be struggling really bad this summer with finances. I need to re-take a course I failed my first semester at the U. Well, that cost me 1,300 dollars plus I had to pay for the book. Which was another 75 dollars. My grandpa came to the rescue on that one, he's my bank and luckily I don't have to pay back interest. Mind you I still have to pay all my bills; rent, electric, gas, internet/cable, food, gas for my car, insurance, phone, and my monthly prescriptions. I then get a letter from the IRS stating I owe them money I already paid. It went like this; Kasandra wrote a check, Kasandra sent in the check via the mail woman, Kasandra got a check back from the IRS, Kasandra got a letter stating you need to give us that money back! Okay, government figure it out! AND I have to pay interest on it. Aggravating!!! Then I get this huge medical bill. Okay, at this point I wanted to give up. Well, my boss called me and asked if I wanted 10 more hours. What do you think I said? You're right, I said of course! So now, I can breathe a little better.

I understand I took on all this responsibility, and I wasn't complaining or unloading in my blog . . . I'm just saying how blessed I am. They say the Lord (Allah, Buddha, etc.) won't give you more than you can handle. It's true. I told someone recently that I can understand why my family won't help me first off when I'm having financial difficulties. But if I'm working my hardest, and still can't make it I don't know why they can't help me. (Primarily speaking of my father) You know what the Lord (Allah, Buddha, etc.) did? He helped me out because he saw no one else was able/willing to. In ending all I can say is, Thank You, Jesus! (though I prefer to call him baby Jesus) F'real.

peace & love.

Flooding & Blinkers

I don't appreciate it when others make fun of things I'm truly worried about. I know my family didn't mean anything by it when they said we'll have to go and get you floaties, or a life raft. I know it's all in fun. But I'm genuinely worried about flooding. People look at me and laugh as if it's a joke, but I'm very serious. I almost cry even when I tell others I'm scared. Maybe it isn't something to worry about . . . maybe all will be fine, but until then I'll worry and have restless nights.

Also, when you turn your blinker on to get in another lane, once you're in that lane please turn your blinker off.

peace & love.

Simple As It Should Be

"This is so good, there's no need for change. It's alright by me, it's as simple as it should be."

I just felt beautiful, so beautiful when he looked at me. We search for love. Some of us longer than others. No, don't worry I'm not in love nor do I think I am. (Though I'm not opposed to this idea.) But of course I want it, like all other human beings. Whether people admit it or not is another story. You know the feeling before Christmas morning when you were under the age of 12, yeah . . . that's how I felt last night, when I was sleeping, when I woke up, when I was at the gym, when I was at the store, when I walked in from my car and right now and it still hasn't left me. I got five hours of sleep because we hung out until 4:00 AM, fell asleep at 4:30 AM, woke up at 8:15AM and I went to the gym at 9:00 AM, and I'm in a great mood. Which is super weird, this is so unlike me. I hope it doesn't leave for a while. I've missed this feeling. (:

Unwanted Mail . . .

What did I do today you ask? I took all my "ads" in my mailbox and put, return to sender address unknown. I hope they get the point and I don't receive anymore ads! I could care less about them and they just piss me off! I want reliable mail, not crap. I also got a bill and a letter from the IRS that I have yet to open, guaranteed it's just bad news and I don't have time for that right now.

Also, another tad-bit about my mail woman! She stuffed my summer class book in my mailbox, literally stuffed it in there! I opened the cover of the mailbox and was at first excited until I couldn't get it out. Not to mention I was pissed that all those ads were in there! Well, this guy comes along, super cute by the way, and he tries helping me and says sorry but I have to go. So, here I am wanting my freaking book out of my mailbox and it won't come out. Well, I go inside and grab my scissors and start cutting this package inside my mailbox ... I bet I looked like a freak! (:

Social Work Peeps (:

You know when you meet someone new and you just think to yourself. "Oh man what am I getting myself into?" or "I hope I'm just good enough for them." That's how I felt this first semester at the U's College of Social Work. I can't tell you how AMAZING each individual is. First and foremost, Tay! Oh my goodness this kid is the sweetest guy I've ever met. Though he makes fun of everyone, including me, he's beyond great. Kaitlin! She is a vegetarian and has a super cute style. She also told me that gelatin comes from hooves of a cow so she doesn't eat anything with gelatin in it. (:  Tania is my bestie! We went to sushi together and since then she calls me her best friend, psychotic a little. (: I love her. Amanda, this girl is fantastic. She can never get to class on time, I save her ass half the time and she's a foodie with amazing peacock earings (: Oh and she loves wine! Everyone else of course is amazing, but I can't remember all their names. I suck at life sometimes. But, there are a million of them. Not really only like 40 total.

<3

One Love. One Heart. Let's get together now and we can feel alright.

 ☮ &  ♥  




When 911 happened I had no idea what was going on. I just knew it was a very sad day and that it was as if the whole world had shattered, at least in America. Though, on the other side of the world it was a party. It was a great success, it was exactly what Bin Laden hoped and dreamed for a very long time. In Western society we want others to think, talk and be this Anglo-Saxon, patriarchal, Christian society. 


Who's to say America is right? Who's to say America is wrong? I've found things in my own country I hate. I literally hate that I'm a woman and I'll never be as good as a man. I hate that people have to try and assimilate to be in this melting pot when it's never going to happen. I hate how they promise an American Dream when the only way to get that is through money and you have to jump through a million holes just to barely get your Bachelor's Degree and you still have to pay back all the loans. When you're going to school to become a hard working citizen. (Being a social work major I shouldn't say the following . . . but I'm going to.) While people sit at home and get welfare and food stamps, I work a minimum wage job to pay; my rent, on my own; my insurance payment, on my own; my phone bill, on my own; my electricity, gas, renters insurance and food, on my own; not to mention paying 50.00 a week in gas for my vehicle. While these people sit at home and do nothing and get money they never have to pay back, ever. Now, I'm a liberal. I'm no where near conservative but I just think it's a joke anymore. I guess I'll just continue to pull myself up by my boot straps. 


On to what I initially started to blog about. So, we got Bin Laden. Now there is talk of putting the photos and video out or not putting the photos and video out. I listened to the head of the CIA in a interview on MSNBC and when you have multiple people with power, who have no reason to lie, except for maybe money, why wouldn't you believe them? Not only the president, not only the CIA, not only the S.E.A.L.'s but also other news reporters around the world and governments around the world ... I mean I guess I just have more trust in people than most. I believe all these reputable sources. He's dead . . . now let's get the rest of the Taliban and peace out. I know it's more difficult than that, but really let's move on.


peace & love.  

Sunflower Seeds & Song Lyrics

I've never been one that's been too great at expressing feelings through words, I guess that explains why I hide behind such beautiful song lyrics. 


"You've got the best of both worlds. You're the kind of girl who can take down a man and lift him back up again. You are strong but you're needy. Humble but your greedy. Based on your language and shotty cursive I've been reading. Your style is quite selective but your mind is rather wreck-less. Well I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is. Hey, what a beautiful mess this is. It's like picking up trash in, dresses."


I mean, honestly it's just beautiful. It makes me think of a nice summer day just eating some sunflower seeds. Yeah, I said it I eat sunflower seeds. I don't care how un-lady like you think it is! They're delicious until you get a nasty one. I guess it's kind of like slot machines. You put a coin in - nothing. You put a coin in - nothing. You put a coin in -nothing. You put a coin in - nothing. You put a coin in - JACKPOT! That jackpot is the amazing delicious seed that you love so much so you put another coin in - nothing. You put another coin in -nothing. Until you hit jackpot all over again. (:


peace and love. (: