Raspberry Sorbet and a Broken Pelvis

Do I care that there is a lot of Sugar? Nope! Is it delicious, yup! I will admit that my new obsession is Haagen-Dazs Raspberry Sorbet. Delish.

My pelvis is beyond messed up. It's overly annoying. I never thought I would feel this pain ever again. It's so foreign yet so familiar.

Oh, and these stupid red-lights in this city are going to be the death of me. I'm sick of them. All day that's all I've come across. I'm so over driving.

Rants ... gotta love em'!

The Love of My Life

I found the love of my life.
1. No pressure under any circumstance.
2. He gives me Eskimo kisses after we kiss.
3. He gives me a kiss on the cheek every time I see him and every time he goes.
4. He is dedicated, motivated and strong.
5. He is so fancy and always looks his best.
6. He always smells good.
7. He gives me butterflies.
8. He makes me smile all the time.
9. He loves me for me, he compliments me and he makes sure I know that I'm beautiful.
10. He is very future-oriented.

I always wondered when people said, "I know he's the one." How they knew. I knew the very first date, Denny's for pancakes! :) He ordered a salad with mayo. I just giggled. We talked about the most serious of things, on the first date. I LOVE that. Being forward and straight is how I like it. Not only is he forward and straight but he does it with a smile, a loving smile. Religion, Politics, Children, Education, and well Life in general we see eye to eye. How important is that? I cannot tell you in words how much I love him. There aren't enough of them.

He leaves for basic on the 3rd of October. It's beyond heart breaking. I love him though, and I know this is a good thing. I support him 152% with it and always will. It's just so hard when you find some stability in your life and all of a sudden it will be gone for four months. Ugh, how I'll do it is beyond me. The good thing is, I get to work on me. Not only with school but with working out, volunteering and making sure I know what I want in my future and why ... and when :)

If you love someone you would be willing to give up everything for them, but if they loved you back they’d never ask you to.

A feeling that was a great refresher!

I'm not here to brag, okay ... maybe just a little. 

Today in my Social Work Practice II course we were talking about behavioral plans for families with children. I stated how a plan is used at my work, confidentially. (Don't worry you co-workers)  And how I could see it being used in family settings. The professor stated how it is too complex and how some parents wouldn't follow through because of the complexity. I said, okay, I can see that but at the same time if they were older children I can see it really working well. 

One of my colleagues then added, well if the mom has: two, three, or even four children and works and goes to school she won't want to deal with it. I was fuming. Okay, most of you know how I can get when I feel like I have a valid statement and someone goes above me to try and prove me wrong. At the end of class my professor pulls me aside and gives me some knuckles and is just laughing. I said, "What? Did I do something wrong? What's so funny." He continued to laugh for a minute before he said, "You're just funny." I said, "Why because I stand up for myself and say what I believe" He said, "Yes, but it's a good thing!" 

Come on! If you want your children to learn and have better behavioral patterns you're going to do the work it takes to encourage great behavior from your children. 

There are 18 more days until he leaves and I feel my heart breaking as the minutes pass. It's good for him and for our future, but it still leaves me a little sad. I need to put some positive quotes up and look on the bright side, but it's so difficult.

Trying so hard to give up.

I got into an accident last Saturday (the 27th of August) and since then my life has gone down-hill. I seem to make a step forward then make five steps back. Then, it repeats. I really have a huge desire to live life but it's hard right now and I haven't been in this funk for quite some time. It seems very foreign, yet like a good friend I haven't seen for a while. Good thing that life goes on. 

And it hurts to see all my ex's so happy. I'm not saying I'm not happy in my relationship but I feel like they didn't try as hard for me. Yeah, definitely a confidence booster! :) And he's leaving in 27 days, what a drag. I usually love countdowns, but I really hate this one! 

Trauma

I'm a trauma target. Since November 14th, 2007 I have had a lot of trauma in my life.

Feb 2009 Car Accident
June 2010 Laid Off
May 2011 Car Accident
August 2011 Car Accident

These car accidents are not helping me get over the initial car accident in 2007 - luckily none of them have been my fault but I still can't help but to think I'm a target. I found a quote today that makes me worry and sends my anxiety soaring:


"Sometimes a breakdown can be the beginning of a kind of breakthrough, a way of living in advance through a trauma that prepares you for a future of radical transformation."

~ Cherríe Moraga

I'm ready for a break ... whenever I'm supposed to get it. Of course, life is amazing. I won't deny that but finally it's all crashing down on me and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do with it. 

Some People

On Sunday I was with my clients at the Church History Museum. This guy is standing outside this box in a parking lot saying we need to pay him $6.00 - well, I ignored him and continued driving. He didn't approach me at first but soon, like 5 minutes later, he comes over and acts like he's going to call whomever it is to come and impound my car. He comes over and says, "You have to pay me or else I'll call someone to remove your car." I said, "Go for it, I'm not paying you!" (I really thought all parking was free in SLC, on Sunday's. Maybe I need to learn how to read signs. I won't deny that I needed to pay, but I wasn't about to pay him personally.) So, here I am telling him get in the box and I'd pay him. He holds up the key and I repeated, "Get it the box and I'll pay you!" He's says, "The key is broken!" I said, "You're a thief! Let me talk to your boss!" He said, "It's Sunday everyone is off work." He points to this shed (over a fence) and says, "If you have any problems take it up with the office." I said, "No, I'll take it up with the police." So I call 9-1-1 and all of a sudden he jumps on his mountain bike and yells, "I'm going to get the LDS police." I said, "Yeah, I'm sure. I'll wait right here for the. Hurry! Go and get them so that I can straighten this out." Of course, he didn't bring them. He was nothing but a liar and a thief! Who knows how much money he stole from not only innocent people, but the church. I'm still livid about this and probably will be for a long time. I can't wait till his judgement day!

Thanks.

I'm an under-dog and perfectly fine with admitting it. 

Not many people think I can lose all the weight I wish to lose and I think that's what keeps me going. I want to prove them wrong. Anyways, I like routing for the under-dog. My UTES have been an under-dog in many occasions where they have won it! Especially the Fiesta Bowl & Sugar Bowl. I love watching the person with more desire win it, rather than the one who has the most money or better looks. Just know that no matter what I will prove you wrong.

P.S. I can't even fit in my fat jeans anymore, they're like work out pants now. If I could do the splits, I know I could do it in the jeans I wore today because they weren't even jeans. They were stretch pants without elastic. They fell off me when I got undressed, felt amazing. So to everyone that doesn't believe in me, thanks.